The Greatness of Sameness

 I had the pleasure of seeing my grandchild this weekend.  Lexi is 7 going on 30 - very smart, sensitive, and loving.  There is not a time I don't learn from her.  One of our conversations included a story of  "mean girls" she encountered in school.  One of the 'popular' girls was giving her a hard time - one day she was nice to her, the next day mean.  Children with low self-esteem or who may suffer from belittling at home project their negative behavior onto others (they emulate what they see and hear). 

I played a game with my grandchild I wanted to share with you.  Use this same process to teach your child(ren) the greatness of "sameness".

My grandchild had given me several porcelain dolls for Christmas. We named each of the dolls.  She came up with the following scenario: Daisy (the largest doll) was sad because no one wanted to play with her.  She was much bigger than the rest.".  We "sat" the dolls down together and "made them focus on the things they had in common with Daisy".  Since being different could happen to anyone, I asked her to take the dolls and group them into as many common elements she could think of.  To add fun to the exercise, I gave her my camera.  She took pictures of the entire group first, followed with the breakout of each collection of "sameness".  Below are some of her responses to the exercise::

the group



on pedestals

  

blue dresses



blonde



brunette

 

white shoes



smallest ones

 

hats

Other collections included - dolls with black shoes, flowers on their dresses, bows in their hair, blue eyes, and brown eyes.  When we finished the conversation with the dolls, my grandchild felt better and was in the position to walk away without feeling sad, knowing mean girls are the ones with the problem.  It is hard for children to understand why others are mean.  Allowing her to create the scenario, use the dolls as players in the scene, and letting her come up with the conversation between the dolls helped her to figure out what she would say and do the next time the mean girl approached her.

Your son's conversation may focus on cars or trucks.

Focusing on the positive characteristics of people helps children appreciate sameness even when each of us are unique!